Chapter · Faith · Humour · Journey · Life · Self-Care

Dealing with REJECTION

The word rejection is not a new word and it is not new territory to anyone. Whether it is the fact that you were not picked for the job or the date didn’t call back after you felt everything went well, or you were overlooked for the promotion. There isn’t one person walking the face of this earth that has not felt the sting of rejection and the disappointment that comes with being overlooked for something that was so important and that you felt you deserved.

It can cut deep but rejection is not the end of the story because better is always in our future regardless of how we feel in the moment. As I sat down this morning with the feeling of gratitude and contentment, I appreciated my own growth over the years, and I would like to share some tips to help you deal with rejection:

Acceptance: For us to heal the first thing we will always have to do is to accept the situation. Don’t try to gloss over it or push it aside. Accept the situation for what it is, embrace it and get up from it. We don’t heal from what we don’t accept. Acceptance is your first step to moving forward. We can’t live in denial and act like we didn’t hurt in the process. For it to be termed rejection it meant something to us to start with. So, accept things for what they are and move on from it.

Mindset: This is an important aspect; we need to do a mindset check every now and again. There is a belief that we reproduce in real life what we think about. If you are dealing with a constant bout of rejection, it’s time to check your thought pattern to know what you are constantly looping. If you always have the mindset that good things don’t come to you, you are not good enough, everyone gets it but you and you find yourself rolling this reel of negativity, it’s time to fix your mindset. This will take a lot of work because there’s a root cause for this kind of mindset. Don’t be afraid to face your mindset and work to break patterns of negative thoughts so that you can start seeing different results in your life.

Let go and embrace the next adventure: After you have accepted and addressed your mindset you need not internalize rejection. Always know that what is meant for you will find you and what you missed would not have been able to fill you up. Let it go and believe yours is coming. Go out there and be ready to face the next adventure with open hands and heart.

Be Positive: Know that you are ENOUGH. Whether your rejection came from a job you din’t get even though you interviewed well, a relationship break-up, or a promotion you didn’t get. Know this, you are built right for the right opportunities and you have all it takes to win and excel. Forgive the people who overlooked you and know that you are enough for the right person, job, or promotion. A better door is in your future and great things are still on the way to you. Stay positive and don’t give up.

Rejection can be painful and make you second guess your significance but don’t ever feel like a failure take the lessons you have learned and continue on your grind because one day you will look back and be thankful for all the times you felt the sting of rejection. Use everything to build yourself into a better version of you.

Everything will work together for good!

Faith · Family · Humour · Journey · Life

Find the Root!!

  
This weekend my sister’s house witnessed a minor flooding to her living room and dining area. Coming down those flight of stairs you will never notice what was waiting for you downstairs. It took a couple of falls (thankfully no injuries) for us to actually realise that the we were getting flooded and as we tried to determine the next cause of action for clearing out the water that was already in the ground floor it occurred to us that if we don’t find the source of this flooding then our efforts will be wasted because the water will continue to come through. We went round the building and in a few minutes we were able to identify that the root of our problem was a plumbing issue in the restroom of her home office. The whole home office was already flooded and through an adjoining door water was coming through to the main house. If we didn’t tackle our root/source we will continue to clear the water in the main house only to continue to recycle our experience.

This hit home for me, some of us saw through the branches of our issues instead of attacking the roots of the issues. We’ll rather take a look at the surface and deal with a few causal factors than take the time to do a full scan through using a root cause analysis approach. I guess cutting branches is often faster, cheaper, non-invasive and less time consuming and it affords me the opportunity to get on with life really quickly. 

I mean no need for drilling down to find the root of my problem since I pulled out a branch and I feel really relieved already. I already stopped the bleeding which is what was scary so if the bleeding has stopped why should I find the cause of the bleeding??? The truth is sometimes the bleeding has stopped on the surface and you seem fine but if you don’t know what’s causing you to bleed you stand a chance of facing the same recurring situation in the future.

So I’ll use relationships as an example but it’s not only limited to relationship issues. You are angry because someone hurt you bad in a previous relationship, you dealt with it by breaking up and moved right along without dealing with your anger. You meet a “new person” and somehow you ruined things for yourself because you couldn’t let go of your past. Truth is your anger may not even be against the people you were in a relationship with your anger may be way more rooted in several other issues such as a parents divorce or maltreatment that you witnessed growing up that has left you broken. But you have not dealt with it but what you’ve done is to acquire a thinking pattern that tells you that a relationship with a “new person” will fix your brokenness. You need to fix the root cause before you bleed out on another perso and you stand the chance of recycling your experiences all over again. Sometimes others are not the cause of our problems but we are the ones who refuse to do the work and find healing for ourselves.

It’s ok to stuff the face with all of the ice cream in the world and get the pyjama party going to cheer ourselves on while we get over a heartbreak but until you look yourself in the face and ask yourself some truths that bring you face to face with nobody but yourself and call for a change until then you will always recycle your experiences. 

I know they say broken people break people, hurting people hurt people but they forget to tell us that healed people also heal people. Don’t watch your brokenness cause you to bleed out on others because you are too afraid to deal with the root of your situation. You can change your narrative if you want it bad enough. 

You are never alone 

Love and Light 

Tosin

Faith · Family · Humour · Journey · Life · Uncategorized

Lesson from a 2 year old!!

  

A few days ago I learnt a very important lesson from my 2 years old niece. She was getting ready for school and her mum needed to quickly attend to something and as such it became my duty to keep an eye on her. I walked into her room with hopes of getting her ready for school myself. She looked at me and refused to cooperate, in her own words “i want my mummy”. 

My niece knew she needed help getting ready for school but when help came (in the form of Aunty) because it was packaged differently she refused. So getting ready for school took more time that morning because little Miss 2 years old “bosslady” had her mind made up on who should get her ready for school. She’d rather continue to wait for her assistance to come the way she had envisioned it in her royal empire (that is her 2 year old brain) than take one that was readily available.

There and then it hit me that we as adults sometimes act like children we refuse an opportunity just because it didn’t not appear in a package we expected. We have set our prayer point and our mind is so fixed on how things should look, what the person offering the help should look like or what the opportunities we are after should look like.

Somehow we meet someone who has the ability to help us get our desired result and we mess it up just because they don’t look like the type of person we have envisioned. We see some opportunities that could change our lives but because it doesn’t come packed like we imagined and hasn’t got the attached perks we have imagined we decide this can’t be the opportunity that will change our life.

 Sometimes your opportunity to meet the person for your next level will require that you take  up an offer to work in a particular office branch that you don’t have your mind set on don’t walk away because if you skip this opportunity you may never find them. Sometimes you may have to take a lower paying job to get to the higher paying position with the corner office you have envisioned. You may have to take that job on the shop floor with longer hours so you can acquire some client relations and interpersonal skills before you get your promotion as a supervisor.

This is not a call to settle but a a reminder that you should be discerning because sometimes God switches things up on us. Don’t expect that because God showed up in a certain way yesterday He will always show up like that. When we don’t understand we just have to pray for discernment and trust that God and You got this. 

Let’s be clear sometimes opportunities will show up exactly the way we have envisioned it but other times opportunities will show up not looking anything like we have envisioned. The fact that some things don’t come wrapped in the kind of gift wrap we asked for doesn’t make it anything less magical.

Don’t miss your blessing because it doesn’t come packaged in the way you envisioned it to be. 

You are never alone

Love and Light 

Tosin 

Humour

Just for LAUGHS

 

It’s mid week already and no doubt some us are feeling the pressure on targets that need to be met, bills that need to be paid and calls that need to be returned. Things could get overwhelming but a little humour could brighten your day. Don’t get so carried away that you forget to LAUGH!! Have a great day lovely people and I pray your week yields more awesome fruits than previous weeks. The glory of the latter shall supass the former so I always believe we will have better today and greater tomorrow than all of our yesterday put together. I just thought  I’ll make you laugh on this  #humourwednesday  😀😀😀😍 💐

Photocred:Instagram